The Descent

You are pretty - they said.
Been hearing this all my life.
As i left Room #31 of a shady two-floor guest house in the heart of Calcutta on a Sunday night, it all came back to me.The virgin car ride into darkness was a long way from where I come. Where I stand now, the demons of lust stand before me.My beauty lies in what I want them to witness, something they crave..something that will fade away, just like the smile I was once known for.
I am not pretty – I said.
Been wishing this all my life.
The streets are not the same anymore. The smile on the faces of the vendors at the end of a day’s work was the only happiness I have known in a long time. I stand in a tiny corner across the dying market waiting desperately, calling on my own demise for the night. I curse the day I was deprived of everything, everything I wished for, everything I deserved..everything that was taken away..on a night like this one 5 years ago.

The night is young – he said.
I didn’t have a choice.
The reward is a meal at the end of the night for me. Fighting two rogues in one night had become a regular practice. Can’t someone just set me free? Submitting to their every need has drained me of every last emotion I had left. I’m alive, but I fail to see the purpose. At least the peddler sitting next to me has a family to go home to – a purpose. I sit in his car. I wait for it to end- an absolution that might never come or.....
Let me go – I said.
Last breath.
They were 4..i saw my whole life flash in front of my eyes as I ran towards the door, wrestling my way down the tiny staircase which wasn’t in my favour.
I trip – reminds me of when my father helped me up when I fell learning to ride a bicycle.
I run – reminds me of my first race in school when my mother’s cheering made me go on.
I scream – reminds me of the last fight I had with my brother.
I see the light – of a speeding truck unnoticed, reminds me of the one which took them away….i am still…I close my eyes.

BLOOD ON THE DANCEFLOOR

Looking at myself in the huge wall mirror slyly placed in a sleazy corner of  "Disco Cemetery",
I wonder -


"Is she a tease? Or just one of those stuck-up 'Hookers-in-progress'!?!"

Looks again - Thats not me is it ? I wish I could think straight for even a second and I would tell myself to get the f*ck out of this demon hub.

Too late, he walked close to me, Bloodshed eyes-Whiskey breath.

He thinks-

"Can i have you for dinner and you can Slurp me for dessert?"

Looking in the mirror again,

I think-

"Not much of a sweet tooth,more of a BLOODY MARY.....Find yourself a Willing Vixen."

Childish play,not quite what i had imagined....Guess the effect of the pill is at its peak. The trance, uncalled for, had begun to set in.

She sways.

The mirror doesn't lie does it? But 'THAT'S NOT ME!' Couldn't be!

She sways a little more.

Pushed on the floor by few of those possessed by the same poison.

She sways, puts her paws up and dances as its effect becomes intense.

Look in the mirror again.

"WHO ARE YOU STARING AT?", she says.

"Im not you for sure!", I rebel.

She shouts - 

" YOU COULDNT BE EVEN IF YOU TRIED TO! I'M NOT LONER B*TCH WITH SOME D*CK STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS! I DON'T OBSESS WITH DARKNESS INORDER TO DROWN MYSELF IN IT BECAUSE I'M TOO SCARED TO SEE THE LIGHT! I'M NOT PARANOID WITH WHO I AM OR WHO I MIGHT BE. I AM ME! YOU CHOSE TO BE YOU! 

YOU CURSED YOUR OWN SELF! "

A single black tear was enough to trigger my attack on her. I fought with her, destroyed her so she wont come back.

I WIN.

Back on the floor, I sway. I put my paws up. My angelic white halter slowly turns a ravishing red.

I WON.I REJOICE.I SWAY.I FALL.I STILL WON.

Devil's Prisoner

A Dream, that she never was, couldn't be,
Incomplete as a holy book longing to be written,
Abandoned by the author, taken by the devil, who couldn't see,
She was an angel waiting to be purified, was brutally bitten.

Hypnotized by his charm, she descended down the stairs,
Into the dungeons of his lustful, greedy and torturous ways,
Possessed by the dark love, she dreams and then she dares,
To vow that she will devote to him, until the end of days.

Crawling slowly into a state of madness, she smiles,
At the very sight of that handsome demon every night,
creeping slyly inside of her mind, he lies,
A vicious lie, a promise of love, a one so bright.

She binds herself, by imaginary threads of emotion,
Parting ways with friends, foes, and H.I.M.
He takes himself away from her devotion,
To dine and bed, angels of ecstacy, satisfying his whim.

A storm of solitude hovered above her head,
He disappeared unsaid, reappeared untamed,
Sensing the forthcoming danger, desperate she fled,
To unravel the mystery of seduction, she shamed.

Temples of gloom sheltered her soul,
Streams of love flowed down the drains,
A sweet kiss of venom took its toll,
Her frame rots on the twilight mist, it rains.

CURIOUS CASANOVA

 “I have to breakup with you”

Having used the same lines for the third time that year, he left that four-eyed kissing machine all alone in the neighbourhood park.By the way, its only april.

With that cute smile and boyish charms, he walks around school the next day hunting for a fresh piece of meat. By now the word had spread about his recent breakup and how there was an opening for a new girlfriend/ATM/BJ-chick.

Little did he know, his newest target was the queen bee of the most popular bitch-clan in school. 3 out of 5 girls had been dumped by him. So obviously she wasn’t really interested in taming his one-eyed snake. But he was all praises for this dusky hottie.

Seeing the risk involved in approaching her directly, he befriended the fifth pair of b**bs in the group. Piece of cake! A zillion trys involving love notes, chocolates and shy greetings were made. Nothing worked but to everyone’s surprise, he still kept trying.

WHY THOUGH?

EGO? LUST? Or an alien emotion called LOVE?

One fine day, the damsel clearly kicked him in the b*lls and said goodbye – FOREVER!

Oh and by the way, Mr. Casanova believed in “LOVE ONE AND ALL” so was into both Juliet & Romeo  ;-)

Heartbreak was not something he was used to and now the girl he had been running after for the past one year had made a dramatic exit, stage left.

Lost and confused, he was seeing a guy at that time, more like social service...putting his “RAGE” to some use.

Strings of Obsessions followed – tits/no tits, ugly/gorgeous, attainable/unattainable!

Enter Target no.2  -Dusky, thin , attractive. The only difference was that “it” carried a different set of balls  that to at a different place + an addon  ;-)

The dark autumn nights suddenly turned into horny sunny days. they became the best of friends but Target no.2  was really into petite “chicks”

 And not tiny “cocks”. Despite knowing that and the past hovering on his head, he was an emotional fool to have let himself fallen in love with this guy.

The damage was done and the SHIP OF LUST had set sail into the dead sea. Hanging out and meeting each day led to an obsession sooooooo strong that no deed seemed evil.

After months of towering friendship, he took a leap so deep, there was no turning back.

TARGET 2 = DRUNK

PANTS = DOWN

CASANOVA = POSSESSED

WORLD = SHATTERED

The self planted nuclear bomb was enough to trigger an everlasting effect of loneliness and devastation as he left him too.

Two massive blows one after the other, left Casanova broken..... STUCK/BROKEN/DYING.

Despite numerous attempts to revive himself, involving new people and the ones lost along the way, he drags himself down the empty corridors.

Tears each night,

Blood every week,

He cuts himself,

so the wounds,

remind him as to,

whose blood is,

flowing in his veins.

THE TOOTHPASTE GIRL

Descending from the stairs at the same time as she does everyday, leaving that shell behind her for a minimal duration. A shell which for the other girls is an abode to all things personal; for her, its a gloom box where she hides during the  day. On the way down, shes praying that the guy shes been crushing for a while isn’t on the stairs with that ‘skanky fair b**ch’ who he has chosen as his damsel.

  Been brought up amidst fairytales and happy endings , she too dreams that one day that f*cker prince would come and free her from herself....she longs...

With eyes facing the earth, the very place which she loathes for reasons unknown to others, she walks towards the shopping complex, praying yet again for as less people to be there ; so she doesn’t have to socialise and answer awkward questions like how she would the attire of the hottest wh*re in the campus. That would leave her thinking about her own attire which is not even close to appealing for all the s*x-craved maniacs shes surrounded with. A simple top which wouldn’t reveal any secrets, pants which do not crave attention and an oil-drenched pony which is repulsive to most.

 While no one is really bothered that she has entered the complex, her brain moulded in such a way as to believe that all eyes on her. The purpose fulfilled, the toothpaste bought, she decides to walk back as quickly as possible and choosing the longer way as she won’t really encounter anybody on the way .

As she crosses the lonely tract, a distant figure is walking towards her. A guy shes familiar with and hopes to ignore, however, he says hi and asks her if he can walk her back. She is hesitant but cant say much. A risk? She takes it.

‘i don’t even know the guy’ she thinks but then ‘what the heck, it doesn’t kill me does it?’

She didn’t think he’d be so sweet, talking about family and training, not something a regular guy would do. She could relate to the way he was talking, it was so familiar......it was the way she talks. They met again the next day, same place..coincidence? this continued for a few days when one fine day some random person saw them together and the hollow rumours spread.

This was what scared her, the gossip which she had been averting for sooooo long was now at her door, knocking louder than ever. He was still around but she decided to retreat to her shell again. The rumours faded the week after when some random sl*t was found being the hostel building with two guys.

She was broken, she feared this for a long time and did everything she could to avert it. The fairytale turned into a nightmare.

Now the only time she ever came out was to buy toothpaste.............

Does she not have a right to breathe?