The Descent

You are pretty - they said.
Been hearing this all my life.
As i left Room #31 of a shady two-floor guest house in the heart of Calcutta on a Sunday night, it all came back to me.The virgin car ride into darkness was a long way from where I come. Where I stand now, the demons of lust stand before me.My beauty lies in what I want them to witness, something they crave..something that will fade away, just like the smile I was once known for.
I am not pretty – I said.
Been wishing this all my life.
The streets are not the same anymore. The smile on the faces of the vendors at the end of a day’s work was the only happiness I have known in a long time. I stand in a tiny corner across the dying market waiting desperately, calling on my own demise for the night. I curse the day I was deprived of everything, everything I wished for, everything I deserved..everything that was taken away..on a night like this one 5 years ago.

The night is young – he said.
I didn’t have a choice.
The reward is a meal at the end of the night for me. Fighting two rogues in one night had become a regular practice. Can’t someone just set me free? Submitting to their every need has drained me of every last emotion I had left. I’m alive, but I fail to see the purpose. At least the peddler sitting next to me has a family to go home to – a purpose. I sit in his car. I wait for it to end- an absolution that might never come or.....
Let me go – I said.
Last breath.
They were 4..i saw my whole life flash in front of my eyes as I ran towards the door, wrestling my way down the tiny staircase which wasn’t in my favour.
I trip – reminds me of when my father helped me up when I fell learning to ride a bicycle.
I run – reminds me of my first race in school when my mother’s cheering made me go on.
I scream – reminds me of the last fight I had with my brother.
I see the light – of a speeding truck unnoticed, reminds me of the one which took them away….i am still…I close my eyes.